How to raise successful children in life? | Mirror
Raising children is one of the hardest and most difficult tasks, and at the same time one of the most fun and exciting jobs, and we all want to raise our children to be happy and successful in life, whether it is in their studies or in their careers after graduation. But what are the best methods we can follow to raise our children in a way that guarantees their success and prosperity in the future?
After decades of scientific research conducted by major world universities, institutes and scientific institutions, I have come up with the best ways to raise successful children and I have given a series of tips for mothers and fathers to create the right conditions for their children to succeed in life.
Based on these studies and scientific research, we present to you a list of 7 methods that are a good starting point for parents who want to raise successful children full of vitality, activity and enthusiasm for life, according to what is stated in a number of specialized platforms and sources based on these studies .
1- Be a warm and caring parent
In 1938, Harvard University conducted research, the first of its kind in the world, to discover the secret of raising successful people. The study followed 268 of the university’s most distinguished students, including former US President John F. Kennedy, and recorded their physical and emotional health over the next seventy years. , and analyze their successes and failures in life.
The researchers came to one clear conclusion: a good relationship between a child and a parent is the secret of a happy and successful life. Enjoying a childhood in which one feels accepted, cared for and tender is one of the best indicators of success, well-being and life satisfaction in adulthood.
This result was not surprising, because two scientists, “Bowlby & Ainsworth” formulated the theory of attachment in the fifties of the last century in which they indicated that a child who receives warm care and concern in childhood can develop a secure attachment. , and a child who is more likely to have He has a secure attachment to positive development and good outcomes when he grows up in the future.
Additionally, human brains are highly experience-dependent, and brain structure is shaped by everyday life experiences and interactions. In this context, a child’s experience with a friendly and responsive parent lays the foundation for future mental health. Happy childhood memories are a source of strength that lasts forever. The best way to raise successful children is to be a warm and compassionate parent, and to want to develop a close relationship with your children, according to the Parenting for Brain platform in a recent report.
2- Emotional regulation
The ability to regulate one’s emotions is key to achieving success and happiness in this world. Emotional regulation is not a skill we are born with, but it can be acquired. The key is to teach our children how to control their emotions.
However, teaching emotion regulation is not limited to giving the child exercises, games or instructions for application, but children learn self-regulation primarily by watching their parents, seeing how they regulate themselves and control their impulses and emotions. So if we get upset and yell at our kids every time they misbehave, we can’t expect our kids to stay calm when they get upset.
Therefore, in order to help your child succeed in life, you must set a good example, and then your child will learn how to do it, according to the “Birthing for Brain” platform in its report mentioned above.
3- Teach your children group skills
Researchers from the University of Pennsylvania and Duke University followed more than 700 children from across the United States from kindergarten through age 25 and found a significant link between the social skills they learned in kindergarten and their success as adults two decades later. This is according to what the “businessinsider” platform mentioned in a recent report.
Twenty years of research has shown that socially intelligent children who are able to cooperate with peers, help others, understand their feelings and solve problems themselves are more successful in life and work compared to other children with limited social skills.
“This study shows that helping children develop social and emotional skills is one of the most important things we can do to prepare them for a successful future,” said Christine Schubert, program director of the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, which funded the research.
4- Let your child take the lead
Successful parents tend to let their children take the lead in easy or medium-difficult tasks. Excessive parental leadership can frustrate the child or make him lose focus on the task, according to research conducted by Professor Jelena Obradović from Stanford University.
The researchers confirmed that children whose parents intervened and gave instructions often later showed greater difficulties in regulating their emotions. The study suggests that parents should take a step back and let their children solve their simple problems without their interference.
“When parents allow children to take the lead in their interactions, children practice self-regulation skills and build independence in their personality, which is very important for their future,” Obradović said.
5- Increase the child’s self-esteem
Children begin to develop a sense of self when they are young, when they see themselves through the eyes of their parents. Children are attentive, your children absorb your tone of voice, body language and all your facial expressions, and your words and actions as a parent influence the development of their self-esteem more than anything else.
Praising small achievements will make them proud, and allowing children to do things independently will make them feel capable and strong. Conversely, belittling one’s own achievements or negatively comparing one child to another will make children feel worthless.
Avoid saying words and sayings that hurt or lower your child’s self-esteem. Words and comments like: “What nonsense!” or “You act more like a child than your little brother!”, can do more harm than physical punishment.
Choose your words carefully and be kind, and let your children know that everyone makes mistakes and that you still love them even when you don’t like their behavior, according to KidsHealth (kidshealth.org).
6- Find time for your children
Parents are often busy with work and do not find enough time to spend with their children, so it is difficult to be together at the table for lunch or dinner, let alone spend quality time together outside the home. But remember as a parent that there is nothing in life that your child could want more than that.
Many children dream of spending quality time with their parents, and for that it becomes very important that you take enough time to be with them, and it will not cost you much, so get up 10 minutes earlier in the morning so that you can have breakfast with your child before you go to school or come home early. Dinner with the family is very important for your child’s mental health.
Children who do not get the attention they want from their parents often misbehave in order to get their parents’ attention.
Make a “special night” every week to be with them and let your children help you decide how to spend that time and find other ways to communicate, for example: put a note or something special in your child’s lunch box.. This will be for him A pleasant surprise.
Also, going to parties and social events together and your children’s participation in their games are very important, things that allow you to learn more about your child and remember how happy your child will feel doing very small things together, like making popcorn , a thermos or play football together.
7- Stop using the reward and punishment method
There is a very common method for many parents, which is rewarding if their child does well in an area or punishing if they fail or make a mistake.
Rewards and punishments only create extrinsic motivation, which is not a good long-term solution. We may be able to force our children to learn when they are young by using rewards and punishments, but if they don’t like learning or school, they will eventually run away or at least do poorly. Evaluation .
There is another more important and useful way, which is to develop and strengthen their self-motivation and teach them the meaning of the value and importance of education for their future. For example, attending school and learning should not be about getting higher grades or outdoing your peers. Teach them that it’s about gaining knowledge and growing as a person.
And teach them to enjoy learning and acquiring new knowledge and science, and remember that children who enjoy learning will have an intrinsic drive to succeed and enjoy it, so try to motivate your child to learn and enjoy learning.
Another example mentioned by the “verywellfamily” platform is to encourage children to help others and not associate this value with reward or punishment, but teach them what it means to feel self-satisfaction and happiness in helping others, because that is the real reward.
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t sometimes give your child a special gift for excelling in school or doing a noble deed. Children love encouragement and gifts and thrive on parental compassion and encouragement. In this context, an occasional reward is a great way to show how grateful you are for the good things your child does.