Marital infidelity.. Is informing the partner a condition for accepting repentance?! | Articles and studies
A person’s life is not devoid of human weakness, because it is the nature that is compounded in him by the origin of his creation, and therefore a person is not free from error, and the problem is not falling into sin, whether it is minor or major, but the problem is that from him you do not repent, and therefore haste to repent is one of the sins. Among the conditions of charity, he, peace and blessings be upon him, says: “All children of Adam sin, and the best sinners are those who repent.”
The question that haunts those who repent of marital infidelity:
I, as well as many of those who deal with fatwas, are often asked questions about social issues and relationships in marriage, among the most serious and important of which is the question: When one of the two parties – husband or wife – gets into a conflict. the sin of marital infidelity, and he repents to God Almighty, and his repentance is sincere, and he completely gives up for the sin, and he did not inform his partner about what he did, so he remains in it, fearing that his repentance will not be accepted, because he did not confess to his partner , and he was not honest about one aspect of his practice.
Thus the soul that leads to evil repeats and pushes him in that direction, and Satan begins to whisper to the one who fell into this crime, that God accepts his repentance without informing the other party, and without asking him for forgiveness, because his repentance depends about the forgiveness of one who has the right to a conjugal partnership? Is repentance for marital infidelity really not accepted until the partner says what he did?
Law and customs are the source of this wrong perception:
The reason for this kind of perception among people is the fact that in their heads there is a mixing of questions about what refers to the right of God and the right of a servant, and this is what the imported laws in our country have produced in the case of marriage. infidelity, because only the husband has the right to file a lawsuit in it, so if he overlooked the matter, the lawsuit would be dismissed. The law also distinguishes the husband’s treason from the wife’s treason, based on what has been produced by custom among people, considering the woman’s crime a shame for her and the family, while the man’s crime has nothing to do with it.
Forgiveness from marital infidelity is only God’s right:
The question that repentance is not valid if the rights are not restored to those who deserve it, is a correct speech, but the question that the treacherous party must restore the right, by acknowledging it, is a false speech, which is not valid as a religion, because the rights in Islam divided into rights for God and rights. Servants have common rights between God and servants, so what rights are the servant returned to them, such as someone who stole money from a person, or wronged him, or wronged him in some right, then he must return the right to him, or ask him for forgiveness.
But adultery is not one of the rights of people, but it is a pure right of God Almighty, and only God Almighty has the power to forgive it. This right is not left to the husband or family. If the husband forgave his wife or the husband committed the crime of adultery, but did not repent to God, then the sin is not forgiven, and its punishment is not released from it.
This happened during the time of the Prophet, peace be upon him, when a worker committed adultery with the employer’s wife, and the adulterer’s father wanted the husband to forgive his son, and in return he paid a ransom. , so they asked God’s Messenger, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, about it, and his father said: Judge us according to God’s Book and give me permission He said: Say, he said: My son was abused because of that, so committed adultery with his wife, so I ransomed him with a hundred sheep and a servant, then I asked knowledgeable people, and they told me: My son has a hundred lashes and has been exiled for a year. , and his wife must be stoned. The Prophet, peace be upon him, said: “By the One in whose hand my soul is, I will judge both of you according to the Book of God, may His memory be glorified: a hundred sheep and servants will be returned to you, and your son will have to flog a hundred lashes whipping and a year of exile.”
Repentance to God and covering oneself:
If someone commits such sins that relate only to the right of God, he must repent of them to God, and cover himself with God’s veil, and not tell anyone, no matter who he tells him, unless it is a fatwa or advice on how to repent and stops what he is doing, and is not obliged to tell anyone. Rather, Sharia requires that a person cover himself, either for himself or for others. He, may Allah’s prayers and peace be upon him, says: “All my people will be healthy except for those who speak openly, and it is folly for a man to do a deed at night, and in the morning God has covered him, and then says: Oh so and so – Well, I did this and that yesterday.” And so, and his Lord now hid him, and now He revealed to him God’s hiddenness.”
And he, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, said: “I swear by three things, Allah Almighty does not make one who has a share in Islam as one who has no share, and the shares in Islam are three: prayer. , fasting and zakat. A man loves the people, but the Almighty God makes him with him, and the fourth is if I swear by this, I hope I will not sin: Allah the Almighty does not cover a slave in this world, but he will cover. him on Judgment Day.
And if a man is asked to cover himself in his sins in which God has covered him, then he is obliged to cover people as well, if he sees their sins. Cover it with your dress! Meaning: It would have been better for you to have covered him up, not to have brought him, and incited him to confess to me that he had committed adultery, so that the punishment of hajj would be carried out on him, and people would testify that the punishment was carried out on him .
The behavior of the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, was with those who come to him confessing fornication, that he rejects him as much as he can, and that is to repent between him and his Lord, and to hide God’s hiddenness for him and to give him more does not return. He said: “Messenger of God, cleanse me, then he said: “Woe to you, go back and ask God for forgiveness and repent to Him.” And repent to Him.” He said: So he returned not far away, then he came and said: Messenger of God, cleanse me. He said: From adultery.
Umar’s jurisprudence in covering up and marrying a repentant adulteress:
And may God be pleased with Omar Ibn Al-Khattab, the jurist, whose jurisprudence was: hiding the one who repents or has repented from this disobedience, and he is treated as virtuous. That she should die, so I pulled her out, then she understood Islam here, so Islam was good for her, and that she hit one of the limits of Islam, so we didn’t surprise her except that she took a knife to slaughter herself, so I saved her, and she came out by herself, so I treated her until her words were healed, so she accepted a good response, and that she became engaged to me, so I remember what happened to her, Omer said: Ha, if you do, I will punish you with the punishment that the people the cities are saying, I will marry her as a chaste Muslim.
And in another narration: that a man proposed to him his daughter, and she gave birth to him, so he came to Omer, and he mentioned it to him, so Omer said: What did you see from her? He said, “I saw nothing but good. He said, Well marry her and don’t tell.” And in the third tradition, he said to her father: Has she not repented? He said: Yes, he said: So, he married her.
That is, Omar here commands his guardian, and the girl has committed the crime of adultery, and has repented, to cover it up and to marry her if someone suggests that she marry a chaste woman, and not to treat her like a harlot, and not tells the one who proposed her, and that he should not tell anyone about his sin, but threatened him with punishment if he did so. And Omer at that time was the prince of the believers, as he says in his capacity. as Omer the jurist, and Omer the ruler who has power.
Damage from partner’s admission of guilt:
Also, the environment in which we live makes a person a character who does not forgive such crimes, especially if the crime was committed by a woman. If a woman confesses to betrayal, despite her repentance, Satan here continues to whisper to her husband, and how do you know that she has sincerely repented? Then the husband starts asking: who did she cheat on him with? And how? And when? And why? The questions continue to be drawn towards others, and there is no end, and if a person knows, he may think to take revenge on him by killing him, and this results in great harm for which there is no remedy, unless the person conceals himself, that God has protected him.
How many men stand out among the people as being open and tolerant, but already at the first test in these matters, he turns into another personality, and results in such religiously useless confessions, apart from the destruction of homes. The unreasonable man divorced and was exposed, and the repentant confessor is only gained infamy among men, after God hid his concealment, but his ignorance of the Sharia, and the arbitration of his desires and himself, prompted him to repent and hide himself and the people.