“Partnership” marriage… Jordanian men and women in modern adulthood

Marrying a young woman who has a job has become a goal for a large number of Jordanian youth today, as they have to get help from their partners in life to overcome the obstacles of difficult economic conditions that have lasted for years, and this has changed the fact that they are members of society from the old generations for decades. they preferred to be connected with the housewives in order to take care of their work. The house and directly supervise the upbringing of the children.
It is no secret that the social changes taking place in values ​​in Jordan refer to the conditions set by the husband or wife, which emphasize the need for the other party to fulfill them. The institution of marriage currently strives for partnership at the expense of obedience, and it is necessary for the woman to ensure a good economic contribution to the family budget. While girls refrain from marriage in order to maintain independence in light of their sense of sufficiency and unwillingness to take responsibility for the family after achieving their practical and material ambitions.
A study prepared last year by the United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF), entitled “Economic and Social Aspirations of Youth in Jordan”, showed that “lack of financial opportunities and difficulties in finding work have raised the age of marriage for both men and women Jordanian youth from about 5 years ago. They forced half of the men to marry at the age of 30, and the young women at the age of 27.

The study noted that “at a time when 25 is considered the most suitable age for young men to marry, only 25 percent of them can do so at age 27, and only 50 percent at age 30.”
She pointed out that “Jordanian youth aspire to reach the modern stages of adulthood that guarantee them economic independence and residential stability, bearing in mind that 80 percent of newly married couples live in private homes, not with their families.”

Failed attempt
33-year-old Ahmed Al-Abadi told Al-Araby Al-Jadeed: “I tried to marry a girl who works in a company, but after contacting her I realized that she wants to maintain her financial independence and not participate in household expenses. She is also insisted on achieving her social independence and maintaining her lifestyle.” After marriage, in terms of going out with friends to restaurants and cafes.
He adds: “The prevailing difficult economic conditions make one think of a working woman, noting that the problems of these conditions have caused the collapse of my friends’ homes. In Jordan, young men bear the costs of dowry and all the details of the wedding ceremony and the preparation of the house, and in return they want the women to participate in the costs and needs of the house. But they don’t want to make any concessions.”

Young women ask: What’s the use?
Ahlam Ali, a 29-year-old employee, says: “My thinking about marriage is related to the fact that it has brought additions to my life, while I refuse to go through this experience to satisfy society. When marriage becomes a result only with the goal of spending on a future husband, and providing cleaning, laundry and food preparation services, then there is no value.” for him”.
And she believes that “the victim of marriage must include a classy person with whom I have an unusual friendship, or a person who leads me to a better level of life, and I know a woman whose husband took bank cards, so what is the welfare and value of a husband who wants to exploit his wife and spend on yourself?”

conditions on both sides
Sociology professor Hussein Al-Khuzai believes, in his interview with Al-Araby Al-Jadeed, that “the change is clear in Jordanian society, as girls no longer hesitate to set conditions related to future husbands, including at least equality with education and culture, and taking into account the economic level necessary to enable them to live decently.” “.
She adds: “Once upon a time, a girl achieved her ambitions through her husband, and now she can do it herself after becoming a doctor, engineer, lawyer and teacher. Today, it seems clear that girls of the new generation do not want a partner who accepts their ideas and talks with them in a relationship that brings them together and is based on understanding. They want to participate in social and economic life. While the burdens of life today are many and great, some girls prefer to help their families get married, especially if there is no young man in the family, and she alone the family is incapable.”

As for young men, Al-Khuzai explains that “the conditions of economic life and its changes, and their desire to live in independent homes away from their families, made marriage a large expense, which they could not provide for themselves, and led them to seek salaried workers.”
He points out that “young men in Jordanian society have begun to ignore the age difference when they announce their desire to marry, and focus on the economic situation that requires women to share responsibilities amidst the existing economic conditions.”

Interest in money… and divorce
He believes that “Jordanian society is witnessing a change in the social values ​​of marriage, and the concern for money in the first place has led us to more divorce cases, which reached 28,000 last year, which reflects the existence of great rivalry between husbands and wives, and the negative impact of opposing opinions and the idea of ​​the stability of married life.” Some men can accept this reality, but after years of marriage, their thinking about some financial and social issues changes, which threatens the stability of the family.

Al-Khuzai points out that “the most important thing in marriage is social, economic and educational compatibility, and everything big and small before marriage, especially in the case that the woman participates in providing the expenses and renting the house, which means that she is forced to continue working. Some men can demand that their wives leave their jobs if they refuse to help them.” in household expenses. He advises those who are about to get married to agree on all the details, so that there are no disagreements in the future.