15 steps you must follow to prevent divorce from becoming a crisis
The period of divorce does not have to be the ugliest in your life! It is true that divorce can be difficult and stressful in many cases, but there are some steps that, if followed, will ensure that there is no crisis and will help you get through this period more easily. In fact, this decision can be in your favor and change your life for the better. Here are 15 steps to ensure it goes smoothly.
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The divorce is going smoothly
1- Your plan is your way to a better life
When you’re thinking about divorce, you get a lot of questions: How will the kids handle it? Will this negatively affect my future? How will I manage my finances? How will society view me?… You should ask yourself all these questions, but they must not hold you back. Embrace it and deal with it by creating a plan that will answer all these questions and make you ready for whatever lies ahead.
2- Admit that you need help… And that’s normal
Of course, you are going through a difficult period, regardless of the reasons for the divorce, change itself is not one of the easiest things in life. So, you definitely need the help of an expert in order to understand the things you are feeling and going through more clearly and to be sure that you are on the right path.
3- Be fully aware of divorce laws
Of course, in this case you will consult with a lawyer who will take care of all divorce transactions and official matters. However, at the same time, you need to be fully aware of the divorce laws, especially when it comes to your duties and your rights, to make this process easier for you.
4- Educate yourself about divorce meditation, you might need it
Divorce meditation is a voluntary settlement process used by married couples seeking divorce. Divorce mediation gives the spouses the opportunity to rationally plan the future in an atmosphere of cooperation and mutual respect. Between them there is a mediator who makes it easier for them to understand things without commitment and helps them make appropriate decisions for themselves and their children.
5- Organize yourself financially
With a divorce, one of the things that changes the most in your life is your financial situation, due to the change in the nature of life and obligations. So one of the most important things you need to do is organize yourself financially to make sure you don’t need anyone and can be independent. We also advise you to follow the 50-30-20 rule to organize your salary and make sure you spend the highest percentage of your money on the essentials.
6- Treat divorce negotiations like a business deal
When you go through a divorce, many feelings come into play, whether it’s feelings of love or anger. So, in either case, to make sure you come out of the divorce in perfect shape, treat the negotiations like a business deal. Look for what is best for you within the law and don’t let your emotions sabotage the negotiations.
7- Cinderella didn’t look back, and you do the same
Never look back, but look forward to the new future that awaits you. After you have already reached the stage of divorce, it is the best proof that you deserve better and that the married life you lived with your partner was not successful. So always look to the future and never look back.
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8-Be kind to yourself, you have to
Regardless of the circumstances, the mix of emotions you deal with during a breakup can often be confusing or even scary. Maybe you’re not sure how to understand what you’re feeling or how you’re supposed to feel. However, it is important to remember that there are no valid feelings and it is not easy to control your feelings. So, give yourself a break and be kind to yourself.
9- Be strong…but don’t hold back your feelings
Do you feel like crying? So cry. Do you feel like screaming? That’s why he’s screaming. Do whatever you want, don’t hold back your feelings, but don’t let them rule your life. So come to your girlfriend and ask for help and express everything that’s inside of you, but don’t let your whole life be a tragedy.
10- Don’t see your marriage as a failure
Divorce is not a defeat, nor a failure, it can be a path to salvation and the beginning of many successes. So after the divorce, don’t look at your marriage as a failure, but consider it as an experience from which you can learn in the future and don’t blame yourself for the things you think you failed at.
11- Give yourself time
Regardless of the circumstances, it is normal to go through a period of grieving over your marriage and it will take some time for you to adjust to the new life that awaits you. Your daily routine will change, your responsibilities will be different, even the way you think about the dumbest things may not be the way you thought before the divorce. So don’t rush things, live every day in a calm way and make space for yourself to accept things better.
12- A positive environment is what you need most
Surround yourself with positive people and be prepared that some friends may choose a side, so accept it. Society can often be unfair, so don’t trust everyone around you, but choose your close circle that supports you and understands your position.
13- Take care of the most important person: yourself
Pamper yourself, you deserve it! Book, for example, a massage and relax for at least an hour, go shopping or even book a vacation for a few days. Don’t let loneliness rule your life and don’t isolate yourself from the environment, but consider it a new opportunity to do whatever you want.
14- Don’t let the children get involved in the drama
Of course, you and your husband should talk to your children together in a calm and logical way to inform them of the decision to divorce and to reassure them that your love for them will not change. Of course, many children find it difficult to accept this at first, but it will become easier for them over time. But the most important thing is not to drag the children into the circle of drama and to maintain a positive atmosphere around them.
15- Develop your concept of independence
Independence does not mean owning a home. Independence is a much bigger word than that. It means independence by providing for the needs you want, and those needs are often moral. You can feel independent by starting a new business, writing a novel and many other ideas that you can apply.