Central trends in the fate of marital relations

Marriage is one of the institutions that an individual resorts to at a certain stage of his life in order to settle down and start a family. This is done in accordance with the legal contract that frames and regulates the relationship between the spouses. There is no doubt that the initiation into a marriage relationship by an individual must arise from the desire to continue and perpetuate that relationship, since it must be built from the beginning on solid and firm foundations, which guarantee the ultimate goal and purpose that was previously defined for it; However, the opposite has recently been observed. Due to the dramatic increase in the divorce rate in Moroccan society, as 26,957 cases were recorded in 2021, compared to 20,372 according to official data published by the Ministry of Justice.

Therefore, in this article, we decided to deal with the topic of “marital relations” and approach this topic psychosociologically through the concept of “trends” as the main factor in the spread of disputes and problems between spouses, as well as hints. the point of rehabilitation and establishing balance in marital relations, with illustrative examples.

Divorce may be one of the phenomena that has affected our Moroccan society in recent years, and there is no doubt that the state in its various institutions is trying to find effective solutions in order to somewhat mitigate this phenomenon, which has become a threat to society in general, and family institutions in particular, as considers. Humanities and social sciences with their different perceptions and tools are among the research fields that can guide us in understanding and analyzing the many aspects related to this phenomenon.

“Attitudes” are among the psychosociological theories that fall into this field, which can help us understand how attitudes contribute to the emergence of conflict and rivalry between partners, as well as to the achievement of balance and stability in marital relationships, because attitudes mean: “a psychological state Expressed by assessment of something in our social or physical environment (a person, thing or subject) in terms of its degree of liking or disliking. Trends consist of three basic dimensions:

Emotional component: attitudes are not devoid of emotions and emotions. The individual may feel reproductively or alienated from the object of direction (desirable/desirable); So, this dimension refers to those emotions that an individual carries towards the subject of the trend.

Cognitive component: This dimension refers to the beliefs and ideas that the individual has, that is, what he knows or what the individual thinks he knows about the subject of the trend.

Behavioral component: instructions make it possible to direct the behavior and daily practices of the individual; Thus, this dimension connects attitude and behavior.

With a simplified definition of this term, it can be said that it is the attitudes that direct the daily behavior and practices of an individual towards his material and social life. Since the institution of marriage is an integral part of this life; Access to it comes through the attitudes that the individual has towards this institution, because it directs the individual’s choices towards the partner he considers suitable, for example: when a man decides to choose his life partner, that choice always results from these attitudes. which he carries towards the woman he wants to marry. With that, such as being beautiful, without a past, educated… and other different standards and characteristics depend on each person separately, as well as directing how the individual wants to live his married life; It is not just limited to guiding those choices and behaviors, but goes beyond that to the essential role that attitudes play in determining the nature of the marital relationship between two partners. This can be solved through the “cognitive balance theory” founded by the American psychologist Haider Haider. This concept derives its theoretical origin from Claude Bernard’s general principle of equilibrium (L’homéostasis) in biology, since it refers to a feature in the body of an organism by which it seeks to achieve equilibrium despite changes that may confront it, such as an increase in body temperature , for example.

This theory – cognitive balance – is based on a basic idea: attitudes and judgments adopted by an individual should not be in conflict with their social environment. And when there is a conflict, forces tend to balance; Either by changing the relationship between the elements of the environment or by changing the representation that the individual has of his environment, since the theory of cognitive balance from this point of view assumes that the individual always tries to form a coherent and common vision in his relationship with others and with the social environment to which he belongs. He is also inclined to establish relationships with people who agree with him intellectually, that is, in the directions he takes as an individual independently of others. Because this compatibility and harmony is considered the basis for achieving balance and success of relationships, and that difference and conflict is from then on considered an explosive element of conflicts and disagreements that end in the failure and disintegration of these relationships. For example, a woman who does not agree with the idea of ​​polygamy (-) cannot marry a man who does not agree with her (+) and their marriage is successful; And if they happen to get married despite the lack of harmony between them about the idea of ​​”plurality”, a state of imbalance will occur in the relationship in case the man asks the first woman he wants to marry. second time (+>>-=-); Because this imbalance will result in a series of problems between the spouses in order to restore stability to their marital relationship, or to change the direction that each takes towards the other. in order to achieve cognitive balance.

Among the cognitive strategies that individuals resort to in order to regain stability or balance, which is followed by this theory, is the “action strategy”, with which the individual tries to intervene in order to modify the attitudes that the other party has towards the object of the trend; In order to achieve consistency and harmony among them. For example, if the husband tries to convince his partner to change his attitude towards the idea of ​​polygamy, using some arguments and evidence that defend this issue, such as: that polygamy is desirable in the Islamic religion, and that they do not represent any harm to the first wife. .and other arguments that try to convince his partner to change direction; If this is successful, the relationship becomes balanced and stable (+>> + = +), without conflicts and problems; As long as the idea of ​​polygamy is welcome and no longer creates the slightest problem for a woman.

As for the second strategy, it is represented in the “cognitive reorganization” that the individual resorts to in case he fails in the first strategy, and it is divided into two basic mechanisms; The first is embodied in the change of attitudes that an individual has towards the object of the trend. Here, the partner tries to change his beliefs according to the idea of ​​”pluralism”, as if he is trying to convince himself that polygamy will make his relationship with his first wife turbulent, or that this decision will cause him many problems (emotional, financial, family…) with the aim of achieving harmony. balance and stability in the relationship (->>->> +), or resorting to another mechanism, which is: changing the attitudes that the partner has towards his wife. This change of direction will lead him directly to issue a social judgment against her, for example: as if he considers her bossy, stubborn… and other social judgments that will allow him to regain his cognitive balance (->>->> +), which in his relationship with his wife will lead him to separation, either in legal or emotional form; So, even if the relationship between them continues as a married couple under the same roof, there will be no attraction and harmony between them. Which will lead them to struggle in many marital and family problems, with which the joy of married life dissolves.

Since its inception, the theory of “cognitive balance” has proven, through many experiments, its importance and effectiveness in understanding the nature of human social thinking that strives for cohesion and harmony with its social environment, and how differences in attitudes play a major factor in the spread of differences and problems between individuals and social groups. Therefore, the individual must be aware that before entering into the institution of marriage, he is fully aware of the preferences of the other party.[الشريك]In terms of his likes and dislikes, his beliefs, his principles, his sexual fantasies… In the sense that he has a comprehensive view of how he wants his partner to live his marital relationship; Of course, this will not be possible except by clearly and explicitly communicating the attitudes that each party has to the other towards their married life in all its dimensions, with the knowledge of whether there is harmony between them. Then they can enter the institution of marriage and start a family. But if there is no agreement and harmony, then this step must be withdrawn and not done, according to the principle: “Difference does not spoil friendship.” Because in reality, and in the encounter with reality, diversity corrupts many and many; If it were not so, we would not see that conflicting attitudes between different groups (couples, friends, states…) lead to conflicts and quarrels that sometimes lead to violence of all kinds, as well as to social exclusion.

In general, it can be said that dealing with the issue of marital relations through the “concept of trends” is one of the main pillars in achieving balance and stability of relationships, as well as an essential element in the emergence of conflicts and differences between individuals, as we explained previously, it does not mean to say that incompatibility is in trends between two partners is the only source of fluctuation in marital relations in Moroccan society, as well as in the dramatic increase in divorce rates that Moroccan courts have recently witnessed. However, among scientific and practical psychosocial theories, it remains that the state cannot overlook or ignore in its understanding one of the factors behind what Morocco is currently known as the “divorce tsunami”. Therefore, in order to provide objective solutions and effective proactive steps in the future, in order to mitigate this crisis that is ravaging our society, the help of experts and research professors in the field of cognitive social psychology and the study of social cognitive La is needed. cognition sociale must be included in two agreements signed by the Moroccan Association for Planned Parenthood, the United Nations Population Fund and the National Administration of Justice; And both aim to subject people who are about to get married to qualifying courses to invest many approaches in a group of field studies, such as “Les représentations sociales” through which it is possible to get a scientific insight into the representations of couples and young people who are about to get married about this institution and other approaches that can help us to give accurate scientific explanations about the factors that lie in the background of the spread of this phenomenon, and then come to objective summaries and conclusions that allow us to subject this group to the awareness of a successful marital relationship, in a systematic and effective way.