Reasons why your husband does not want to talk to you
Many marriages suffer from the lack of a very essential element, which is “successful dialogue”. We have always heard the complaints of most women about the silence of their killer husband in the house, and that he prefers to talk to friends and colleagues instead of her, and the most common sentence among women was always: “He doesn’t care about me because I’m not among his priorities and I don’t hear me.” Both spouses do not do that. They have an informed and mature dialogue; As soon as one of them engages in a discussion about a certain idea, the topic diverges and takes on completely different dimensions, and both compete to accuse the other. The argument ends in an argument, which in turn leads to unhappiness and may even lead to divorce.
The problem of the lack of dialogue between the two partners starts from a one-sided and limited view. Where each partner looks at the matter from his own angle without trying to put himself in the shoes of the other side, and falling into the trap of negative generalization is one of the strong reasons for fueling the fire between the two sides during the dialogue. Where some women, for example, tend to put a big red flag on the whole personality of the husband as a result of his mistake in a certain aspect, and the lack of awareness and poor study of the different psychological characteristics between the sexes can lead to many problems in communication between the two partners.
dr. Amal Ibrahim, family expert, says “ma’am”: We need to pay attention to details that may be absent from you due to the needs, challenges and pressures of life. How much fun, happiness and joy we lost because of simple flaws that we had to discover and deal with in order to reach the quality of life we deserve!
* Reasons for your husband running away from talking to you
Ask yourself: “Are you a grumpy or a cheerful woman?”, “Do you live the moments of happiness in full splendor and splendor or kill the moment and distort the joy?”
If you are one of the serious people who tend to be grumpy; Your husband will not want to argue with you, because a man loves a woman who brings joy and fun to her conversations, and avoids a woman who relies on stagnation and monotony in her speech all the time as if she were in college. lecture.
Lack of awareness of the psychological characteristics of both sexes:
The husband comes home after a full day of exhausting work, meetings with business people and looking for a solution to the dissatisfaction of his company’s employees, and he expects to find comfort and peace at home, but on the other hand, the wife is waiting for her husband to return after a hard day spent with the children and at work at home; To talk to him and address him, and share with him the details of her day; So, this is where the problems begin, because a person tends to be silent after returning from work as a kind of rest, and this is required by his psychological nature; He is born to speak only when necessary, while the female is born to interact, participate, speak and communicate and the desire to express herself at all times. If there is no awareness of these characteristics between two partners, problems arise that must be eliminated by both parties.
He doesn’t listen well:
One of the most absent skills between two partners is the skill of good listening. Where each partner tries to prove his point of view, without listening to the point of view of the other.
Each of the spouses, if they want to build a successful dialogue between them, must give the other party the opportunity to express his thought by listening to his every word without any interruption, and taking care of body language during the dialogue, for example, the first party nods to the opposite party as a sign of openness. to have a dialogue with him regardless of whether he accepts his idea or not. In addition to paying attention to the tone of voice, it is necessary to maintain a medium tone of voice during the dialogue. Where a loud voice gives the impression of hostility and rejection of the other.
Losing the main reason for the dialogue:
The main goal of the dialogue is lost in most marital discussions, since each partner touches on other topics that are far from the main topic, mired in accusations, reproaches and criticisms; What makes the discussion sterile, for example: if during your dialogue on a topic related to your child, your husband got upset and stuck to his opinion, and then began to accuse you and disperse on many useless sides that would provoke and worry you; Here it is not allowed to lose your temper and deviate from the main goal of the dialogue, but you must conduct the dialogue again and with great intelligence.
Many women make the mistake of turning their husband into a completely bad person because of one negative behavior he did. Where she loses control of her temper during a heated discussion about her husband’s behavior and suddenly summons a tape of negative memories, so that she begins to list all the negative actions he has done since the moment he knew her; Which makes matters worse.
The husband is reluctant to talk to his wife in the future because of this fatal mistake. Therefore, a wife must respect her husband’s admission of a mistake and respect this claim for him, and in case he does not admit, she must express her criticism towards him in an intelligent, gentle and elegant way, so that she starts with him with positive words and then presents her comment to his behavior.
Here, attention should be paid to the need to relate the negative comment to the person’s behavior, and not to the person himself, and then to conclude the conversation with a positive sentence.
– Starting topics that are not of interest to men:
Know that men choose the topics they like to talk about. Therefore, you should look for his interests, then enter into a discussion with him through that, and use the element of uncertainty to attract a man to the conversation.
Non-acceptance of other’s differences:
The inability to accept the other’s differences is one of the main reasons that prevent a successful dialogue between spouses, so that each of the parties wants to make the other completely similar to themselves. The door to well-being, creativity, opportunity, horizons, development and progress is closed if a person is fanatical about his opinions and ideas, sticks to his beliefs and does not accept any discussion that differs from what he believes.
If you compare your husband to other men and use every opportunity to talk to him to prove to him his weaknesses in relation to others, his lack of resourcefulness and his bad behavior; Your husband will no longer want to talk to you, and you will build a big barrier between you and him. This is because he will find himself in front of a person who no longer trusts him, and he is a pro at destroying his morals and undermining his worth. Therefore, you had to encourage your husband and strengthen his confidence to initiate positive actions on his own.