10 essential tips for raising a confident child

Parents strive to raise successful children, and some are confused about the best and most appropriate methods to achieve this goal.

Parenting Expert Report by Bill Murphy Jr. published by Inc.com offers a collection of the best parenting tips, drawn from studies, research and hard-earned experience for parents that seem to work well with their children, i.e. simple and can pay off in the long run:

1. Support in times of trouble

Many parents wonder what is the best thing to do when their children face adversity. In general, there are two possibilities:

• Option no. 1: Hurry to stand on the child’s side as support and help, in such a way as to gain his trust in the long term, regardless of the possibility that the child will grow up permanently dependent on the parents.

• Option 2: Keep your distance, stay close enough to make sure nothing really upsetting happens, but also insist that the child sort things out on their own, which builds resilience and confidence.

With the caveat that there are exceptions to every rule, experts advocate the first option because, in short, the child feels safe and can count on the most important people in his life.

2. Leave room for experimentation and failure

Former dean of freshmen at Stanford University, Julie Lythcott-Hims, explains in her book How to Raise an Adult that parents should be willing to let children try new things and fail, without shielding them from all the minor consequences, with the understanding that integration takes place. And act on the first advice if unpleasant consequences are expected.

3. Develop emotional intelligence

People need great relationships to be happy and successful in life, and developing those relationships requires emotional intelligence that needs to be nurtured and encouraged. Rachel Katz and Helen Choi Hadani, authors of The Emotionally Intelligent Child: Effective Strategies for Raising Self-Aware, Collaborative, and Balanced Children, say that the best way to help children develop their emotional intelligence is for parents to model good behavior in social and human relationships.

4. Expectations and values

Researchers from the University of Essex in the United Kingdom summarized their findings, saying, “Behind every successful woman is a troubled woman,” explaining that teenage girls are more likely to succeed if they have mothers who constantly remind them of their expectations and how much they value academic success. and good job.

5. Get involved in the stories

Parents with younger children are interested in reading stories, but it remains to apply the advice of experts to “read from the inside” with children, which means that instead of just reading books to them, we stop at different points and ask the child to think about How the story develops, which decisions the characters can make and why. This method makes it easier to understand the ideas and motives of others.

6. Praise for achievement

Carol Dweck, a professor of psychology at Stanford University, says that children should not be praised for things like intelligence, athleticism or artistic talent, which are innate abilities, because they grow up without the desire to enjoy learning and excel.

But praising children for the way they solve problems—the strategies and methods they come up with, even when they don’t work—makes them more likely to try harder and eventually succeed.

7. Too much praise for them

Brigham Young University researchers advise parents to be stingy with praise. Researchers studied elementary school classrooms for three years to evaluate praise and its impact on children, and recorded how teachers interacted with students. The more teachers praise students, the better they do, regardless of other factors, said lead study author Paul Caldarella.

8. Participate in household chores

Study after study has found that children who do chores end up being more successful adults. One study shows that children’s participation in household chores such as “taking out the trash and washing their own clothes makes them realize that they have to do something in life to be a part of it,” but it must be understood that asking children to do household chores does not include taking care of to their pets.

9. Reduce and rotate games

Researchers at the University of Toledo found that children with fewer toys found ways to expand their imaginations more effectively and play more creatively than children with more toys.

This advice does not mean that the child should be denied or not given any of the birthday presents that he asked for. But the researchers also suggested rotating the toys and designing the play space so that the child can focus on what he is doing and not be distracted by other possibilities.

10. Get a good night’s sleep and go out to play

Researchers have found that the more time children spend sitting indoors, the less likely they are to achieve academic success among their peers. In addition to developing his academic abilities, the child should be physically active outside.

The child also needs to learn that good sleep is a priority. Researchers from the University of Maryland studied 8,300 children between the ages of 9 and 10, focusing on how much sleep they got each night. “Kids who sleep well have brains with more gray matter, or more volume in certain parts of the brain responsible for attention and memory,” said Zi Wang, professor of diagnostics and nuclear radiology.

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